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and what an agenda it is. Sometimes, humor is the best medicine: March 12, Posted by Borowitz WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Rep. (R-Wisconsin) was jubilant today after his newly unveiled budget plan picked up a key endorsement from the novelist Ayn Rand. It was a rare public utterance for the late Ms. Rand, who has been damned to eternal torment in Satan’s lake of fire since. “This is a budget I wish I had written,” said Ms. Rand, pausing to scream as white-hot flames licked her face. “Paul is a great and I look forward to meeting him someday.” Rep. acknowledged Ms. Rand’s praise with humility, telling reporters, “There’s no trick to cutting $ trillion once you take a hard look at failed ideas of the past, such as the social contract.” Mr. added, “Unlike the Democrats’ plan, my budget has new ideas, like cutting two of the food groups and classifying large sodas as medicine.” Ms. Rand’s thumbs-up capped a victory lap of sorts for Mr., who earlier in the day garnered an endorsement from. http: // 
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